Barely Surviving

I am barely surviving from Jan's physical absence. Last night after having a dose of large fries and double chocolate sundae, I felt more depressed and even lonelier. I miss sharing treats with my guy. It's the first night he was not at home and I barely survived. I promised not to cry but on the first night I already did. I have never felt so lonely. Waking up was also a mess. I needed to be at work at 8am but there I was still in my bed looking for the familiar face I have accustomed seeing for the past 3 months. Jan makes me feel needed, he makes me act responsible. So him not being around brought back the irresponsible me. I just wish time could fly faster than usual for me to be able to be with him again. I really miss him so much..